This summer, I returned to Camp! I got to live there all summer. It was magical. It was a blessing and a challenge in a lot of ways, and I am ever thankful that it exists and for the time I've spent there and hopefully will continue to spend there for the indefinite but hopefully forever future rest of my days.
During the eight weeks I was there this summer, I said "I love you" a lot. I said it to campers, to counselors, to co-supervisors, to my boss, to the Camp dogs, to God, and to the sky - because it's nice to look up and find beauty anytime of day or night.
In addition to saying "I love you," I also sang this lullaby to just about every female camper -
I love you truly
Oh yes I do
I don't love anyone as much as you
When you're not near me, I'm blue
I love you
Yes I do!
In addition to saying "I love you," I also sang this lullaby to just about every female camper -
I love you truly
Oh yes I do
I don't love anyone as much as you
When you're not near me, I'm blue
I love you
Yes I do!
Campers, counselors, co-supervisors, my boss, the Camp dogs, God, and the sky all were with me during Camp. I am thankful for the presence of each of these. When I told them I loved them, I didn't just mean that I loved them in that moment; I meant that I was articulating a long-term commitment, a lasting choice. In saying "I love you," I was saying: I am devoted to you for right now, for tomorrow, for the next day, and beyond. I am devoted to your well-being, your learning, and to you seeing and receiving the gospel.
Because if I am a friend but have not love, what am I really? If I give hugs but have not love, if I do paperwork but have not love, if I sing Camp songs but have not love, if I hold hands but have not love, if I do camper laundry but have not love, if I give direction/correction but have not love, if I read a goodnight story but have not love, then I'm useless. My job at Camp and my purpose in life are to show love - love not of me - to everyone/everything around me. If my actions are not infused with love, then I am completely ineffective.
However, here is the thing: I don't have the capacity for all of that. Emotionally, spiritually, physically, socially, I can't hold or dispense love that grand or rich. I'm a girl, not a factory. And I'm a broken girl - any love I have to give is flawed and broken and imperfect.
And so this is what I've learned: love takes faith. I always thought that love just flowed, that it never ran dry, but that's not true. I've been in situations where I ran completely out, and in situations where what I gave was more than what I had, and that showed me that God is love. And I'm His person.
I am a conduit of perfect love (not a producer). I have to put faith in Christ that He will give me what I need, and that He will give it to me when I need it. God has given me Camp and Camp has taught me to ask for what I need and God has taught me to trust His timing.
Because sometimes I tell a person I love them, even though in that moment I am not their biggest fan. Sometimes I tell a person I love them even though I'm not sure what to do to show them that I mean it. Sometimes I tell a person I love them even though they've made choices that hurt me. Sometimes I tell a person I love them even though I'm scared of them. Sometimes I tell a dog that I love it even though it's lazy and I'm jealous because I'd like to lie in the grass, too. Sometimes I tell the sky I love it even though I wish it had not chosen to storm in the middle of the afternoon while we wanted to play outside. Sometimes I tell God I love Him even though I don't understand the way He does things.
I mean what I say each of those times, and in all of those times, I'm trusting that God will give me what I need to really mean it and to show it.
And He always does. During some moments, all I need are the words "I love you." During some moments, I need the actions to prove it. During some moments, I need both. In all of those moments, it's Christ, not me. His perfect love casts out fear and hesitation. It enables me to do my job and to live in the world as one of His people.
It's beautiful. I love learning - I've worked at Camp since I was 17 and I'm not learning any less than I was when I started. This lesson is only one of the things I learned this summer.
Love takes faith. It isn't easy or light. It's serious and intense, yet joyful and wonderful.
Love,Because if I am a friend but have not love, what am I really? If I give hugs but have not love, if I do paperwork but have not love, if I sing Camp songs but have not love, if I hold hands but have not love, if I do camper laundry but have not love, if I give direction/correction but have not love, if I read a goodnight story but have not love, then I'm useless. My job at Camp and my purpose in life are to show love - love not of me - to everyone/everything around me. If my actions are not infused with love, then I am completely ineffective.
However, here is the thing: I don't have the capacity for all of that. Emotionally, spiritually, physically, socially, I can't hold or dispense love that grand or rich. I'm a girl, not a factory. And I'm a broken girl - any love I have to give is flawed and broken and imperfect.
And so this is what I've learned: love takes faith. I always thought that love just flowed, that it never ran dry, but that's not true. I've been in situations where I ran completely out, and in situations where what I gave was more than what I had, and that showed me that God is love. And I'm His person.
I am a conduit of perfect love (not a producer). I have to put faith in Christ that He will give me what I need, and that He will give it to me when I need it. God has given me Camp and Camp has taught me to ask for what I need and God has taught me to trust His timing.
Because sometimes I tell a person I love them, even though in that moment I am not their biggest fan. Sometimes I tell a person I love them even though I'm not sure what to do to show them that I mean it. Sometimes I tell a person I love them even though they've made choices that hurt me. Sometimes I tell a person I love them even though I'm scared of them. Sometimes I tell a dog that I love it even though it's lazy and I'm jealous because I'd like to lie in the grass, too. Sometimes I tell the sky I love it even though I wish it had not chosen to storm in the middle of the afternoon while we wanted to play outside. Sometimes I tell God I love Him even though I don't understand the way He does things.
I mean what I say each of those times, and in all of those times, I'm trusting that God will give me what I need to really mean it and to show it.
And He always does. During some moments, all I need are the words "I love you." During some moments, I need the actions to prove it. During some moments, I need both. In all of those moments, it's Christ, not me. His perfect love casts out fear and hesitation. It enables me to do my job and to live in the world as one of His people.
It's beautiful. I love learning - I've worked at Camp since I was 17 and I'm not learning any less than I was when I started. This lesson is only one of the things I learned this summer.
Love takes faith. It isn't easy or light. It's serious and intense, yet joyful and wonderful.
Lauralicious
