If A Potato Could Talk

When I was twelve years old and about to enter seventh grade, I started youth group at my church. I met a lot of people - both students in youth group and grownups helping - two of the grownups were Drew and Cheryl Miller, and they were awesome. Cheryl is super sweet but sometimes sassy and she is just so funny and I love her so dearly. And Drew was all the time hilarious but really intentional and thoughtful at the same time. He talked like Shaggy from Scooby Doo and he had slightly scrawny arms but he drank a lot of milk. He loved to tease me. I really don't know what it is about me, but people just love to tease me. I kind of like it now but when I was little I did not. At all. But Drew helped me to. 

Drew told me that my voice sounds like what a potato would sound like if it could talk. Which is definitely one of the most creative things anyone has ever said to me. Also, I just would like to say that if you search "funny potato" on Pinterest, a lot of legitimately funny things come up. It's great. 

So I met Drew when I was twelve. He and Cheryl volunteered with the middle school youth, and I got to see him a lot for the next three years. We went on youth retreats and went to youth group twice a week and got to spend some awesome time together. Drew was amazing. 

He was amazing because he used his humor to draw people in. Middle school was just not a good time for me. It was rough. I didn't talk to any boys (unless they were grown up, like Drew) and I was figuring out who my friends were but also I was super insecure, and therefore obnoxious. Also I had really weird "style." One time my hair frizzed up when it was raining outside and I thought it was curly...it definitely wasn't. But regardless of the weirdness of their hairstyles, or anything else really, Drew always included everyone, and did so by teasing them or making them laugh. He would connect people and someone who had just come to youth group for the first time suddenly felt included and present. And then when it was time to be serious, he was. He showed us an incredible zeal for Jesus. He had such devotion and admiration for the Lord. And I miss him.

Oh also something else about Drew is that he had Cystic Fibrosis. So every once in a while he had to go to the hospital in Charlotte but he was always always fine. 

So when I moved up to high school, I was sad because I wouldn't get to see Drew and Cheryl (aka Dr. Chewy Lander) as much. I still got to see them at youth group, just more briefly than I had gotten to see them in middle school. 

Cheryl came to my spring strings concert my freshman year of high school, and we were on the phone before it, working out times and such when Drew yelled from the background, "Break a leg!" And then after the concert, I was talking to Cheryl and told her to tell Drew I still had good legs. That came out of my mouth a little bit differently than I had intended for it to come out and I was worried that Cheryl would think I was trying to come onto her husband right in front of her. Silly fourteen-year-old Laura. 

And then just a few weeks after my strings concert, Drew had to go to the doctor in Charlotte again. Which was just kind of normal. I didn't think anything was really wrong because nothing was ever really wrong. I was at church one Sunday night while he was in the hospital, and Dr. Sinclair led a time of prayer for Drew, which I thought was sweet but not really necessary. So a lot of people prayed and I was getting a little restless and ready to go, when I did the unthinkable. I peeked. During a prayer. I opened my eyes and looked around me. And oh boy it felt so good. My eyes just needed to exercise a little since we had been praying for a while. I was sitting next to Mrs. Laurie, and I noticed with my newly exercised eyes something wet darkening the brown table we were sitting at, and it was coming from her eyes. She was crying. And then I felt so bad. This was serious. Because Drew might not be okay. 

And then he wasn't. He died a few days later. Drew, who I didn't believe was legitimately in bad condition, was gone from the Earth. I never got to hear his voice again or laugh at his chicken legs or hug him. 

Drew was special to my whole family. He really loved my little sisters because they were so cute and little, and he and my brother were really close since my brother was in middle school. My dad and brother and I went to the visitation before my brother's band concert and when I saw Cheryl there, I broke down and she had to hold me while I cried. While I was crying on her, I knew that I should be the one to help and take care of her, but I just couldn't stop crying. I couldn't control myself.

The next day was yearbook day at school, so I stayed at school until lunchtime, then my mom picked me up and my family went to the funeral together. At the funeral, I broke down on Bettina, who is a lot shorter than me, so it felt a little funny to hug her for a long time because I had to lean down so far. But she just rubbed my back and let me cry all over her. 

Drew had such an impact on my life. His love for middle schoolers was amazing and quite admirable. He shaped me so much and I would not be the same Laura I am today if I had not know Drew. I miss him terribly. But also I think that if he were still here, I would never have recognized the impact he had on me or appreciated him for it. Our youth group bonded so quickly and so closely after Drew's death because we all loved him so so much. We wouldn't have had a reason to bond if he never left. I have learned to trust God so much more because Drew died. He was so incredible that I was so upset when he died, because such a valuable and wonderful person was gone, but it taught me to just let God be God because He's got a reason for the things He does, even if they're really sad things. 

Cheryl got married again a few years later and moved to Columbia and now has a baby! I am so happy for her. Also, I'm going to see her this weekend! I cannot wait!! 

I just finished my freshman year of college, and Drew died at the end of my freshman year of high school. So last time I was a freshman. And it is so weird to think of all that has happened since then...

Since Drew died, I have gotten two pairs of Chacos, become lifeguard certified (and recertified), gone to Europe, become an honorary aunt AND an honorary Asian, gained ten pounds, graduated high school, gotten a checking account, started wearing makeup, read all eight Anne of Green Gables books, started a blog, gotten a new hairbrush (last week!), developed an affinity for diet Coke, learned how to mix CDs, started drinking coffee, learned to drive, gotten stung by a jellyfish, worked three summers (so far) at the most wonderful Camp on Earth, gotten a senior superlative in high school (Drew would have loved it), received sweet-tea flavored lotion as a Christmas gift, learned to swing dance, become a member of the Haile family, written a children's book, built a house, discovered what my favorite flower is, gone to prom, gotten contacts, made a lot of sweet new friends, thrown up eighteen times, gotten a cell phone, started talking to myself on a regular basis, and (kind of) learned how to fold fitted sheets.

I miss Drew so much. I sometimes go visit his grave and just think about how much has changed. I know that he loved me so much (even if he did compare my voice to a potato) and I love him so much too. I cannot wait to be with him again in heaven, because, like we sang at our middle school summer retreat: "Ain't no party like a holy ghost party cause a holy ghost party don't stop!"

My favorite hymn is one we sang at Drew's funeral. It's Whate'er My God Ordains is Right and it's amazing. Here is a link to the words. 

Whate'er my God ordains is right
He never will deceive me
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine
I know He will not leave me

And so, friends, if a potato could talk, that is what she would say. 

Love, 
Lauralicious