There is a time coming, and when that time is here, I won't want people to think I'm older than I look, and my jokes about being an old lady won't be funny because they won't be jokes, and when I'm deciding which shoes to buy, I'll care more than I currently do about arch support. It's the time when I'll have crow's feet.
I have a lot of days coming in my life, and one of those will be the day when I'll look in the mirror and discover some new wrinkles around my eyes. I have no doubts that I will have crow's feet; I smile a lot and I squint a lot, so I'm basically asking for it. They'll slowly take their time to settle into my face, and then will come the day where I notice, and maybe do a double take, and then accept it. This is for that day.
I want to always be twenty (I've said that about every age since I was seventeen) and I want to always have the assurance of a forgiving metabolism and friends who will let me talk their ears off or be wordless, but love me in those and in between. I want to always have my own specific coffee shop where I can go to retreat from life when it's being heavy. I want to know that my dad is my financial advisor and he won't let any major disasters happen. I want to know that if I feel like I'm drowning with life, it's only until the semester ends. I want to always have girls over on Monday nights to watch tv and do homework and talk to me while I make my meals for the week.
But change is coming. This school year is wrapping up and winding down, and it has me thinking about how, in the foreseeable-ish future, I'll be on my way out of here, to a place in life where I'm no longer a student, where I don't live within two miles of 95% of my social group, where life is more ongoing than a semester system. I will be in the world of grown-ups, even if I don't feel like I'm worthy of that term.
I've always been young and small and growing, and I'm confused and curious about how I'll be one day when I'm just not anymore. I want to know what I'll be thinking at the moment I find crow's feet on my face. I want to know if I'll ever feel less like a girl and more like a woman.
There are a lot of things to learn between now and when grown-up life hits me. Anne of Green Gables says, "Isn't it splendid to think of all of the things there are to find out?" It is.
And it's splendid to think of all of the things that will happen in life. I'm young, and the thing about being young is that it's all plans and hopes and things. I'm so interested to see which of the things I want to happen in life do actually happen, and which ones become obsolete, and which ones fade into nuggets of memory by the time the feet of crows are found on my face.
I have a lot of days coming in my life, and one of those will be the day when I'll look in the mirror and discover some new wrinkles around my eyes. I have no doubts that I will have crow's feet; I smile a lot and I squint a lot, so I'm basically asking for it. They'll slowly take their time to settle into my face, and then will come the day where I notice, and maybe do a double take, and then accept it. This is for that day.
I want to always be twenty (I've said that about every age since I was seventeen) and I want to always have the assurance of a forgiving metabolism and friends who will let me talk their ears off or be wordless, but love me in those and in between. I want to always have my own specific coffee shop where I can go to retreat from life when it's being heavy. I want to know that my dad is my financial advisor and he won't let any major disasters happen. I want to know that if I feel like I'm drowning with life, it's only until the semester ends. I want to always have girls over on Monday nights to watch tv and do homework and talk to me while I make my meals for the week.
But change is coming. This school year is wrapping up and winding down, and it has me thinking about how, in the foreseeable-ish future, I'll be on my way out of here, to a place in life where I'm no longer a student, where I don't live within two miles of 95% of my social group, where life is more ongoing than a semester system. I will be in the world of grown-ups, even if I don't feel like I'm worthy of that term.
I've always been young and small and growing, and I'm confused and curious about how I'll be one day when I'm just not anymore. I want to know what I'll be thinking at the moment I find crow's feet on my face. I want to know if I'll ever feel less like a girl and more like a woman.
There are a lot of things to learn between now and when grown-up life hits me. Anne of Green Gables says, "Isn't it splendid to think of all of the things there are to find out?" It is.
And it's splendid to think of all of the things that will happen in life. I'm young, and the thing about being young is that it's all plans and hopes and things. I'm so interested to see which of the things I want to happen in life do actually happen, and which ones become obsolete, and which ones fade into nuggets of memory by the time the feet of crows are found on my face.
Love,
Lauralicious
Lauralicious
No comments:
Post a Comment